Consider this. How did you get here? What were the things that led you to a point where things are bad enough for you to think about changing things?
Not surprising is that most often it is not one or two single things that have caused you to become the person you are now, but rather a confluence of many things and events. Many things joining together towards this result. That makes it especially hard to change.
More often than not it is also very difficult to find the root causes of what got you here, and will require considerable amounts of therapy to resolve, or..
In reality what causes us to become the person that we are so dissatisfied with does not really matter that much, but rather what it takes to actually change successfully. And often it will prove to be the smallest of things that will lead to a totality of success.
Habits. Do your habits enslave you, or work for you?
Therein the problem, and the solution. For most of us, over time, we have developed significant number habits. Habits that have created the you that you are now.
To create someone new then it means that you will have to create new habits. Habits that drive you towards the person you want to be.
Easier said than done, I know but if you really want to change, it can be done.
Pick one small habit. Something that should not be to hard to change. Change it. It takes about 21 days for a new thing to become a habit. Add another, and another, until you have a totality of habits that will create the exacting you that you wish to be.
Let your habits work for you, instead of being their slave.
This way you can create the person you wish to be, rather than the person you are now.
Simple as that.